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| User: | sollicitussnape (233902) |
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| Name: | S.S. | |||||||||
| Bio: | .INFORMATION. AIM: kurai tsuki kora email: kaitlincaputo@aol.com .Bio. Name: Severus Snape Age: 50's House: Slytherin Blood: Half Occupation: [pending] Affiliations:[pending] Personality: To say that Snape is malicious and sadistic is only to skim the surface of his personality. His harsh words are his way of asserting his authority, an authority that he feels raises him above the judgement others may pass on him. He is fearful of being viewed as an inferior, and will go to great lengths to keep himself above the role of a subordinate. Although he appears to be dominated by bitter thoughts and petty goals, Snape is a man with a fierce purpose and will pursue it with the cunning and ambition of a true Slytherin. Despite the fact that he is terrified of death, he is willing to die for [or kill for] a purpose he feels is worthy of him. Although he may not express his devotion through his words, when the time comes for action he will stand behind the few who he respects. He seeks to live by his own convictions, no matter what the cost. Description: Although appearing to be merely spiteful and bitter, Snape possesses a more complex ego. His malicious personality owes to both his disgruntled past as well as his current mindset. Growing up in a household dominated by his parent’s vicious arguments, Snape quickly developed a harsh, cynical manner. The human mind is a curious thing, for despite his loneliness, Snape unconsciously aimed to drive others away from himself with his quick tongue, even as a child. Watching his parents fight for dominance over one another imprinted in his mind the need to appear superior, no matter what the cost. The fearful, eager loneliness grew within him through his childhood. Although he was desperate for companionship, he always sought to assert himself as a superior. Because of this, he often found himself with a pack of meek, cringing disciples, but no true friends. Those he kept company with would often flee to another individual whom they might follow, oftentimes one of Snape’s enemies. Behind the protection of their new leaders, they would throw back at Snape all of the insults he had used to assert his superiority and keep them under his control. Snape, filled with indignant hurt with each new betrayal, soon found himself the subject of his peers’ loathing. Wishing to be vindicated, but fearing confrontation, Snape resorted to passive daydreams of crushing the heads of all the children who tormented him, pulling the legs off of spiders, imagining them to be his squirming enemies, under his power. This all went on before Snape realized that he was a wizard. All of these thoughts at the root of his emotions were on a subconscious level, as with all children. Sit at a playground bench for a day, hidden in the shadows somewhere, and the children you witness there on the jungle gym are about on par, mentally and emotionally, with Snape and the kids in his neighborhood. Snape did not realize the deeper roots of his emotions or actions. He simply felt and acted according to his environment, just as any child does. Snape continued to live in this manner, resentful of those more powerful than himself, but afraid to challenge them because of his fear of being inferior. When he was 9, his mother revealed to him that he was a wizard, after a particularly fierce argument with Snape’s father, Tobias. His mother explained to him in a feverish voice that he must never reveal his powers to anyone, especially his father, because his anger would be unbearable. From that point on Snape grew to resent his father, viewing him as the sole restriction on his magical power. Clutching his new secret desperately, he escaped from the loneliness of the muggle world by immersing himself in anything magical he could manage to find. He worked from his mother’s old spell books, constantly reading, constantly yearning for the world where he felt he would belong. He could feel the power coursing through his veins, a power that would assure his place in this new world. By the time he entered Hogwarts, he knew more about spells and potions than many of those in higher years. He entered with a knowing look of superiority and brushed shoulders almost immediately with James Potter. Like the foes of his youth, Potter possessed a sort of confidence about him, and Snape immediately loathed him. All that he wanted to be stood before him, in James: in his looks, his fearlessness, his superiority. Snape continued to live in this mindset throughout his time at Hogwarts, forever striving to be the best, constantly hungering for the power and superiority that he felt would free him from his perpetual state of fear. Fear was his motivating factor. Fear of failure, fear of hearing others call upon his flaws…The thought was almost unbearable. Whenever he succeeded, he never hesitated to rub his success in the face of those below him; Whenever he failed, he was filled with unimaginable loathing for those who surpassed him, imagining them thinking of him as a worthless rodent. This same desire for power is what drove him to join the Deatheaters in the first place, more than his distant resentment of muggles. Not in the wizarding world did he belong, but to the treacherous, fearful leagues of the Deatheaters. He ran with them, clutching his new secret desperately. Again, he escaped from the pain and rage he felt in a world where he was outcasted by hiding in himself, in his newfound power. But this time, swimming in the powers of darkness, he would finally find himself overwhelmed. After he renounced his place in the Deatheaters and came over to Dumbledore’s side, he was filled with a loathing greater than he had ever felt for his rivals: self-loathing. Everything weak and corrupt that he saw in the Deatheaters, he saw in himself. Hating both weak and strong, the Deatheaters for their evil ways and Dumbledore for his benevolence, hating himself for his errors, he entered a state of tormented apathy. Afraid to face his faults, but more afraid to have other identify them, he withdrew even deeper into himself. During this time, he grew to trust and respect Dumbledore, despite his attempts to distance himself from him. He wished to speak to Dumbledore about his time as a Deatheater, but he feared Dumbledore’s forgiveness more than he feared any punishment. The only thing worse than an eternal stay in Azkaban would be Dumbledore’s forgiveness, because he felt that he could never deserve it. The things that he had done were too terrible. His one wish was to vindicate himself, and somehow to deserve the forgiveness granted to him by Dumbledore. [more to follow after plot discussion.] Sexual Orientation/Relationship status: This is an interesting topic, where Snape is concerned. He has not loved anyone since his teenage years, and then he only ever loved one person. Despite his loathing of those more competent than himself, there was one who he could not hate: Lily Evans. He did everything he could to drive his feelings for her out of his mind, but he still found himself transfixed, almost to the point of obsession, although not in the manner that most would obsess. Instead of praying for a chance to speak of her and dreaming of touching her cheek, he sought to avoid her at all costs. Before he’d sleep, he’d imagine slapping her beautiful face until it was red and ugly and full of hatred. But still, he could not bring himself to hate her. His desire to hurt her was not genuine, however. He simply could not submit to his feelings for her. The fear of rejection was too great. He was terrified of her love, and more terrified of her indifference, and so he sought to call upon her hatred. It was easier to find himself turned away by a person filled with resentment than by someone who was completely oblivious to his existence. After he unknowingly betrayed Lily to Voldemort, he would not touch a woman that he found beautiful, or that reminded him of her in any way. This was not because of some valiant effort to honor her memory, but rather because of his self-resentment. Despite the fact that he begrudged Lily the happy life she led with James, Snape never wished to kill her. He destroyed the one thing in the world that he loves, and he loathes himself for it, to the point that pursuing pleasure leaves him nauseated. To him, sex is just a chance meeting between two animals. The few times he was ever with a woman, it was only with whores, and always out of disgust rather than pleasure. | |||||||||
| Schools: | None listed | |||||||||
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| Mutual Friends: | 36: _dm, _prettyparvati, _riverofjordan, bladesofgrass, bredinadunstan, checkmated, cissymlfy, demelza_, ginevra_, goodluna, groovygeorge, halfbloodsally, irishmagic, iwriteinlavendr, justinrff, mafalda_malum, megsy, moonshine_, mrboot, naughtt, nevercornered, ohmypansy, patilling, quirky_puff, rabster, rdavies, remusismoony, renegade_pucey, sollicitussnape, spencer_capper, strangeroddy, thewavesfall, tonksified, wagemywars, withouta, wzrding_legends | |||||||||
| Also Friend of: | 2: boywholives, silvernarcissus | |||||||||
| Member of: | 2: veritaserum_ooc, veritaserum_rp | |||||||||
| Account type: | Free Patient | |||||||||
